I've been trying to figure out why I've been so sad lately. I am not normally a sad or depressed person. I'm a pretty happy- go-lucky, easy going kind of girl, and I don't like this feeling of sadness. I thought maybe it was because I like summer when the sun is out full force, not these dark and dreary days. Or maybe, it 's because I'm at the undesirable age where female hormones are at a minimal, and emotions abound. Or, it could be that it is really difficult seeing my parents get old and feeble, knowing that they will not be here forever.
All of the above situations may play a roll in my sadness, but I think I figured it out. I am living alone for the first time in my life. My youngest son moved out October 1st, and I am now all alone. All alone...just me... all by myself. ( Are you crying for me, yet? LOL) Of course, I am not really all alone. God is ever present in my life, but I am talking in the physical.
Ryan actually moved out a few years ago for just a few months, but he decided to finish college, so he moved back in to keep his expenses at a minimum. He was working at a part-time job while going to school. He has, within the past few months, gotten a good paying full-time job, and is almost finished with school. I am pretty sure he won't be moving back home again.
Don't get me wrong....he's 28 years old. I'm glad that he doesn't want to live with his mother forever. I wanted my sons to grow up and make it on their own. That's how I raised them, but it doesn't keep my house from seeming empty.
I googled "empty nest syndrome" and found this:
"It's natural for a mother to feel some sadness when her child leaves home.It is quite normal to have a little weep now and again – or even go into the absent child's bedroom and sit there for a bit in an attempt to feel closer to him or her.We know of a successful, busy and confident woman - an agony aunt, in fact - who admitted she went into her son's bedroom to sniff his T-shirt shortly after he left to go to university for the first time.So don't be ashamed of your feelings - they are natural. "
Believe me....I don't miss him enough to smell his shirts!! I'm not THAT sad!! But, it is good to know that my feeling of sadness is normal. I'm sure it won't last for long. It even goes away at times....like when I come home from work, and my kitchen is still clean. And when I go into his bathroom, and don't have to pick his towels up off the floor. I'm also looking forward to turning his bedroom into a multi-task room for myself. One where I can place my computer desk, treadmill, and sewing machine, etc. I can now have my two guest rooms without other clutter.
Hmmm, I think I'm feeling better and a little less sad, already!!
Also I found out that I was right about the other factors playing a role in my sadness. The "empty nest" site also had this to say:
"When a woman is at the stage in life where her kids are leaving, she may also be going through other major changes, such as dealing with the menopause or trying to cope with increasingly dependent elderly parents. "
So, I'm glad to know that I am a normal person!! I'll get through this and be happy again soon. In the mean time, I know that I can still talk to God anytime. He is here and understands....
Have a blessed weekend.....Gayla
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4 comments:
I just want to say, you have WAY too much time on your hands!!! LOL Just kidding! I was sorry to read about your dad. I'm very glad he is doing better. Love you bunches, Katryn
Katryn....Just think....when you're kids are grown and moved out, you might have waaaay too much time on your hands, too. Love them while you can, and enjoy them being under-foot!! Love you!!
I remember the feeling of my second son moving out. I am an apostolic man, 55, and raised my sons by myself from the time they were 13 and 11. They both moved out when they were 23, happily to get married to fine Christian women, who are raising my grandchildren in this Apostolic way.
I hardly saw my younger son in the last 2 years we lived together. He worked as what we called a "harvester" in our church, a program generally made after the preaching of Bro King in one year's PSR conference. We would only see each other consistently at church, as both of our lives were busy with life and our church. But there was a real feeling of loneliness, when I realized he was no longer sleeping in the other room, the leftovers in the frig were no longer being eaten in the morning when I would awake. He found a great wife, but there was still a sadness. I remember. It wasn't easy raising my boys, but with the great help of God's Church, lots of tears and prayers, and the mercies of God, we all got it done. Not too proudly at times but in the end, they both saw that the persuasions and pull of a very lost world were not to be compared to the riches of Christ, either in this world or the one to come.
Now yesterday his wife texted me with the message that the blood tests came back positive and they are expecting a second child, in addition to the four (three by marriage) of my other son.
But my memories go back to the time we were all together. Life goes on, my Lord is with me always, one son just moved to Phoenix with 4 of my grandkids (Bro Garretts church, which is how I came across this website, looking unsucessfully, so far, for theirs).
With tears in my eyes, thank you for a place to remember all this.
Happy Thanksgiving!!
It was nice to see I am not crazy! My only son just moved out and I find myself fine one moment and crying the next. Even though he lives in the same town, we dont see each other as much as we did and as anonymous said, its hard to see the leftovers stil there and the empty bedroom seems so hollow!I too am at the time in my life, when my hormones are going crazy, but I'd like to think that missing him has to do with just that, missing him not blaming it on something else. Any suggestions on feeling better?
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